SUPER V.I.P

Sent mum to pudu station this morning. She's going back by bus. While queuing up for getting her a ticket, dude in next counter offering ticket to hometown. Which reminds me of the incident happened years ago.

*long queue at counter*

counter terrorist : Taiping, taiping, taiping.. sekarang..

Since its long queue there, to ensure I can go back on time, I decided to give it a try and switch company for the first time. While queue up at the not so long queue, I over heard the conversation from the lady at the counter

Lady : huh? apasal so expensive? not 19 bucks meh?

counter terrorist : Kak, this one is SUPER V.I.P seat. Thats why we charge you extra 4 bucks.

Lady : Super V.I.P ? I want a normal one.

counter terrorist : No normal one.. This one is SUPER V.I.P seat. Thats why we cahrge you extra 4 bucks. C'mon, its just 4 bucks extra. This one is SUPER V.I.P seat one.

Lady : *left with dulan look*

Afoi : yo.. taiping, skrang, satu oang.

counter terrorist : 19bucks + 4 bucks extra. This one is SUPER V.I.P seat. Thats why we charge you extra 4 bucks.

Afoi : V.I.P ? got provide blow job ?

counter terrorist : Yes

Afoi : yao mou !!??

counter terrorist : Yes.. On top of every seat, there's a air-con output to blow you. Pasti best. Goto platform XX

When I reach that platform, I see everyone's holding different kinda ticket. Weird. Time tick, tick ,and dicktick. No sign of the bus shown up yet. Everyone start to dulan.

Conman Conductor : Ok, taiping, follow me. Go straight, then go in the bus with plate number AAA1234

*search search search and search*

Old man : MAR GAH HAI! zor mi AAA1234 si bus kilang lai!? (*bad word* , why AAA1234 is a Factory Bus?)

Lady : Wabiang! khee chiah! (*expression* , got conned)

Yes, the SUPER V.I.P is a BLUE FACTORY BUS. NOW I knew V.I.P stand for vehicle Istimewa Perkilangan (Special Factory Vehicle). FCUK. I had no choice but to go in the bus. After I found my seat, I start to switch to hibernation mode. Then...

Laiyea Uncle A : Hello? Hey.. I might be late for the appointment, I'm still in KL. Estimate will arrive there for another 5 hours. It takes around 5 hours to reac Butterworth.

WTF!? Butterworth !?? I'm going TAIPING!!! Then...

Laiyea Uncle B : Sir, Later when reach Taiping. Please drop me at Simpang. Please remind us. You know la.. uncle is old.. scared I over slept.

Driver : No no no, this bus is going Ipoh.

Laiyea Uncle B : Remember to drop me at Simpang. *walk away*

WTF!!???? IPOH!!???? I'm going back to TAIPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still, I decide to take my chance. I noticed a young girl have the weird feeling as mine too.. She start to call home and I can see she start to panic. Dong care, Dong mind, Dong bother. Sleep is more important. The blow job isn't best at all! The air from the air-con stink!! The seat is even worst than shit! Woke up by the not-moving-at-all-state bus condition. Then...

I realised I'm NOT in any highway. Its some of those old malay coffe shop. WTF!!?? I WANT TO GO BACK TAIPING! Then I found out the bus come out from toll to enter the Tanjung Malim. Why the fcuk you need to stop while Tanjung Malim isn't that far from KL? Then...

Aunty : ey... did you see that young girl ? *point outside*

Afoi : *look* eyy.. yea.. hualaneh.. what she's doing ?

Aunty : Just now this girl sit with me one. She told me she's going to hitchhike a car to go back her hometown. Very dangerous la.

Afoi : huh???

The girl is standing middle of the road. Stoping each and every car desperately. The situation is kinda dangerous, as there's no road light at all. Then, the bus driver enter the bus. And continue the journey.

Driver : Apa kamu buat ni!? celaka...

Young Girl : I want to go back home..

Driver : Where you want to go ?

Young Girl : I want to go back Taiping.

Driver : *dulan look* come back in!!

Shit, now i'm totally confused. But worst to worst, might just overnight at any hotel at any place if it's not taiping as destination. So, dont care. Sleep is important. Then... when I have the second wake up , I found out I'm in some sort of city. Which, obviously is not Taiping at all. Everyone in the bus start to go wild. Some people start to put on their med. Some people flash their nipps. Some people even pee into their bag.

Then, I see "Welcome to Ipoh" sign. Then, bus driver start to perform some live show. He start to call someone by his handphone. Drive the bus at high speed one handed. He even make FEW round at the roundabout. WTF!? Then, he dropped someone in some shop.

At the end, I still reach my hometown, in one piece. Only it takes extra 3 hours to reach. What you expect? Everytime we pay more, we'll expect more. Now, I have EXTRA 3 hours to enjoy my ride. Should not complain. That day, I reach hometown at 2AM. Make some phone call and wait for my gang to pick me up and start our slumber weekend life at hometown.

Moral of the story,
Good thing always never come easy. There's no shortcut to reach any destination. When you're about the path to archive your goal, and someone offered you some instant reward. DO NOT fall for that. V.I.P is NOTHING to do with Very.Important.Person AT ALL.

p/s : I wonder if the uncle ever reach Butterworth. And the uncle damn tulan cos the driver don't stop at Simpang for him. Suggestion to the pity uncle, next time, find some friend who is syncronized with moonlight. As they'll be available no matter how late.